My Own True North.
The last 12+ months have been difficult for some of us due to the public health and safety mandates for isolation and separation. For others, the time has been a blessing in terms of solitude, introspection, rest, and time off.
Some have informed me that the past year has been life changing – that the mandates of the pandemic have caused them to re-assess their future, purpose, and priorities for life. For me, due to the limited opportunities and activities, I feel that I lost over a year of my life. I am calling 2020 a year of reckoning: “the action or process of calculating or estimating something.”
This reckoning is important to me, because as an aging baby boomer, I have lost some my physical vitality. Normally, I do not do well if I have to sit still for very long. But due to minor – but progressive – health issues, I have had to revisit my thoughts on stillness. Sadly, I realize that there are some activities that I must give up due to potential long-term physical risks. Thus, my formerly very active life is different now.
To preserve my ambitions for an active and full life, I am now more aware that I have to uphold stronger physical and social boundaries for myself. I am realizing my mental and physical limitations. My younger brother, Terry (a long-time physical therapist), summed it up when he told me (while I lamented my condition), “Kevin, at your age, there are things that you cannot put your body through.”
This loving but professional advice was hard to swallow, because time has become so precious to me. But I must recognize that I no longer have the “bulletproof” body of a 30-year-old. To sum it up, my professional medical team, my holistic health team, my trusted family and friends, my partner, and Jesus Christ have all advised me to stay on my own true north for the rest of my life.
In 2020, I danced very little but remained true in my vision for my life – that is to help, serve, and encourage others. It’s one of the main things that I truly feel called to do. I find joy and personal meaning in helping and encouraging others. Focusing on others over myself, I tend to feel less desperate during times of social isolation – like during the pandemic. I acknowledge this after spending much of my life on a lost road to where I sit today. I have realized I must change some things about my life.
Changes
Due to some knee issues, I will no longer play competitive court sports: basketball, tennis, indoor badminton, or activities that require sudden hard starts and stops. I will sadly miss these activities. I will continue to dance (and teach) until pain tells me to rest or quit.
I am dropping relationships that use me, abuse my time, and abuse my resources – including those people that cannot keep their word (to me or themselves). I am releasing myself from relationships that choose conversations whose only focus is to draw attention and sympathy to themselves, their possessions, and their plight. I now quickly end conversations where compassion and kindness are not practiced.
I thus attempt to seek good things for my mind, body, and soul. I desire to keep a compassionate and caring vision and purpose for my remaining years on earth. I do not feel these are lofty ambitions but rather a simple path to walk on. In the end, I feel I am closer to that place of fullness, peace, and abundance where Wholeness lives.
What has changed for you, going forward? How has the pandemic affected you and your outlook?
Stay well and safe,
Kevin